Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful.

First off, I'd love a spoken version of this. I've read it five or six times now, but there are passages where I just can't seem to find any rhythm. Or are there passages devoid of any rhythm?

I am not sure I get *every* word, however I'm pretty sure I get what you're saying, generally, and obviously, if you've read my last journal entry, it strikes a chord with me. I'm in accord with it. There are a few lines I'd like to highlight first of all because I really loved them:

Involuntary movements seem so fitting on the dance floor.
-- pure genious.

Just channel your regression.
-- that one made me grin widely as well. And it's so fitting. I love to read 'clever' lines that aren't just lexical masturbation but actually nail the thing they were meant to express as well. Well done!

Your superficial insights, coffee-rung paper-thin, may seem mildly magnetic,
but they won't find my fridge.
-- this is just great. Especially with that one deviation that went to the frontpage recently, representing the category of prose to the random visitor, this poem is a wonderful summary of my thoughts. Paper thin indeed. Mildly magnetic, but not on my fridge.

A few things I did not understand:

First of all, I looked up picaro, so that's pretty clear now. What I don't get is the two mentions of far east / oriental in the first section. Can you explain why you used those words at all? If anything, I thought the poem described the occidental world of meaningless herd-minds and faceless girls defining nothing with their lipstick.

'All herd that they should be here' seems to be a play on 'all heard that they..'.. but does it have a meaning as it stands there as well? Is herd used as a verb somehow?

Lastly, imbalanced hands grope cocked crows, I don't get this at all. Can you explain the first verse of the last section?

Don't think I fav'ed this because I like you, bastard, BECAUSE I DON'T! I really like the piece.

Strange stolen sensitivity
that far eastern picaro pervades,
au fait with personal ‘piquings’

I wanted to add an element of abstract verisimilitude to the observations,
and considered the most efficient way of achieving such an angle would
be to focus on one particular individual floundering in this environment.

His heritage itself is not intended to be symbolic, rather his centre of intentionality in its entirity, and especially his behavioural responses. I intended to offer the suggestion that his personal experiences and insecurities 'once again, size doesn't matter' effected his abilities to interact with, and his perception of, the opposite gender, in turn effecting their assessment of his character.

Therefore the triple pun:
Piquing - inciting anger by commiting a social faux pas
Peeking - a continuation of the theme initiated in 'perve-ades'
Peking - a cheap play on Beijing's previous appellation

The second element of the first section you have correctly identified. It was merely my starting focus, before widening the angle.

Imbalanced hands - reference to an analogue clock
grope cocked crows - cocks naturally crowing at dawn, (crowing also capable of being a cry of delight)
Notice a loss of liquids

Perhaps I concentrated a disproportianate amount of attention on the imagery at the cost of clarity. It was supposed to be a reference to awaking 'the morning after' combined with a grimy sexual dimension.

and a huge *slap* of appreciation for your continued support mon ami

I would have sworn I *did* click this before, but when I checked - well, turned out that I had not read it.
Now, there might have been some witty comments from me, since the piece certainly deserves it, but Bringa was le muy faster.
Thus, I probably cannot pronounce my praise properly, and not using capital letters is my last resort:

Wonderful.
Speak it.

--
mattness // lightworks

Again, sighs: ‘doesn’t matter’

aha that was smart.
the whole thing is smart

--
***
For all poets: [link]

why thank you, ma amie

This is very good! You write like you're much older than 21 ...are you sure you are? I enjoyed reading this.

Thanks, you've made me smile.

You're welcome. Always glad to get smiles!